Expressions of Love
I remember going down to the waterfront in Phnom Penh last year in February. The traffic was crazy, and the sidewalks were packed. There were families, kids running around and food hawkers selling their grilled insects. Thousands of couples in tuk tuks and motorbikes packed the streets with bouquets of flowers, both real and paper, and bundles of balloons trailed behind the girls. It was the chaos of Valentine’s Day – Cambodia style. It’s also reportedly the most dangerous day in Cambodia. Why? Because of date rape, with many young women losing their virginity.
According to research by the UN, one in five Cambodian men admit to raping a woman at least once. Half of those men had committed a rape by the time they were 20 years of age, and nearly two-thirds said they had raped their partner. Cultural beliefs about the inferiority of women are deeply ingrained. Victims are often left unprotected in a society that is seeking to rebuild without the stability of the social and legal structures you and I take for granted. This, along with Cambodia’s rapidly developing economy, has brought many new challenges. Human trafficking, the exploitation of factory workers, and the systemic abuse of many vulnerable women are now commonplace – from businesses acting as fronts for exploitation, such as massage parlors and karaoke bars, to inside the home…the very place you would hope to find refuge and safety.
The effects of the repeated deception, abuse and exploitation are devastating for survivors of trafficking. Our staff members at the RAP (Ratanak Achievement Program) Community Home have to cope with their share of outbursts, violent behavior and suicide attempts as they seek to minister to the young women in the program. The hurt runs deep, but our staff seek to minister to each layer of trauma, responding in love even when they themselves are hurt in the process. The journey towards finding psychological and emotional healing is long and challenging – sometimes it feels like our young women are taking two steps forward and one step back. But then we see true signs of healing and realize they are indeed moving forward! As we see them overcome obstacles, one by one, we are reminded of how God can bring beauty out of deep brokenness.
This was especially evident this year for Valentine’s Day when I visited Cambodia. The RAP Home decided to celebrate the holiday… but with a different focus! The afternoon was filled with many expressions of God’s love. The young women and our staff shared how they were experiencing God’s love through their time at RAP and through their relationships with each other.
One survivor said, “I am speechless by all the love I have received since I came to RAP. I have never received such love before. Thank you to all the staff and especially our ‘maks’ (house moms) who care for us and check up on us to see if we are late in returning home.”
Another said, “I experience joy when I stay at RAP. Even though I make mistakes, mak loves me and when I have a problem I can go to the staff and they give me good advice. I feel that I receive advice that I never had before. I want to give thanks that I get to know God and experience the true love from God.”
One of the most touching moments for me was when our young women had the opportunity to bless their house moms and thank them for their love and care. They gave them a gift, and apologized if they had hurt them in any way. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. The house moms hugged and prayed with the young women, encouraging them with love and blessings. That day, despite the tragic cultural context of Valentine’s Day, the words of 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 were tangibly seen at RAP: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”